reward and punishment:
"be carful of rules for your children.
rules diminish responsibility.
be carful of rewards for your children.
rewards diminish self-esteem.
be carful of punishments for your children.
punishments diminish trust.
let lessons be imposed
by the nature of things,
not by your own agendas
or your own needs.
integrity will replace rules.
contentment will replace striving.
spirituality will replace religion.
songs will replace arguments.
dances will replace battles.
don't tell me this is overly simple.
perhaps the most courageous act
will be that moment
when, even though it breaks your heart,
you stand aside
and let your children
take the natural consequences
of their actions."
words from: the parents tao te ching
previous tuesday's teachings here!